Sweet Freak Out

Saturday morning I couldn’t find a huge stack of very important Sweetlife tax documents. Documents I had organized a week ago and then in our standard rushed style to start the week, I had thrown them into a grocery bag. Professional, I know.

I’ve been dragging around a recyclable Sports Authority bag all week, just waiting to finish the necessary work.

And then yesterday when I needed it, I COULD NOT find that bag.

I started calmly:  hmmmm where did I put it?

After searching the few obvious spots: ok seriously where the freak is it?

As panic started setting in about the whatif of losing that bag, I shrieked to the kids (and innocent visiting buddies): I’m about to FLIP out. Just ignore me.

Still no damn bag, so I recruited help: $5 dollars for whoever finds my @%&#ing bag.

While searching , Raleigh was being “helpful” by digging into some of  Hudson’s old clothes.

Love hand-me-downs but this scene makes my brain crazy.

At one point I made the mistake of looking downstairs where Briggs has recently moved into what was the guest room. Since this has been a trial to see if he likes basement life, we haven’t officially moved him in but he’s “decorated” a bit.

Love the floral, stuffed animal, hockey theme he’s going with…

I checked the laundry room. Ahhh frick – couldn’t close that door fast enough.

And this basket ‘o junk? WTF?

A broken desk lamp and a red owl needed a wing sewn back on. Suck.

Finally, sweating and crazed, VOILA:

The ole cabinet of crap. OF COURSE!

Victory. Stashed in an upper cabinet full of really important stuff  junk (dog roller although we haven’t had a dog for 3+ years, half used projects, and a beer box full of paints from 5yo Raleigh’s third Rock Painting birthday party.)

I then remembered shoving it up there in a last minute sweep before some friends arrived on Thursday.

How dumb.

In my rush to give the appearance our house is perfectly organized (ha!), I had created utter disorganization.

And a load of panic & f-bombs.

All of this happened less than an hour before having to be to two soccer games and an afternoon event that would keep us out the rest of the day.

Inside I wanted to scream (and kinda was on the outside.) The need to get control of the nooks and crannies in our house was so real and so overwhelming.

I thought about getting the girls rides to their soccer games and cancelling our afternoon plans so I could stay home & clean. I salivated at the thought of loading my car with Goodwill donations. And filling big black trash bags with everything else.

I was downright giddy dreaming about organizing this closet:

But then I stopped. And a loud voice spoke up:

GET A GRIP SISTAH.

Yes clutter and chaos are annoying. Yes being organized is important. When I find the time to do it, it will feel darn good.

But not better than the look of pride on Raleigh’s face when she scored ~

or confidant Hudson finally understanding “off sides” and how to avoid it.

I took a few breaths, threw on my sweats and baseball hat, and closed the door on the chaos.

This is our life. And we’re doing our best to live it sweetly.

Even when it’s not sweetly organized.

Does anyone else struggle with this balance? Have you found peace in managing what you have so you can focus on what you do?